I think I’m addicted to my phone. I am always looking at it. My husband is super pissed and says I’m worse than our teenage kids. I know he’s right. What can I do?
Ouch. This hit home. We’re a little guilty of this too. Part of it is that we are responding to our MiddleSages tribe often but part of it is, well… addiction.
The first thing that we all need to acknowledge is that we are using the phone as a distraction from the present. Sometimes it’s from work (us). For you, it’s interrupting your personal relationships. Go ahead and make a pro/con of attributes for your phone vs. your husband. We hope he has more to offer you than a mess of plastic and glass.
Want some concrete evidence of what your husband is complaining about? Go ahead and check the Screen Time under Settings. It’s going to show you how much time you spend on each app. If you’re like us, you are now feeling an intense amount of SHAME and EMBARRASSMENT. It’s ok. Here are some ideas on how to break the habit:
- Turn it OFF at meal times with your family.
- Put your phone to BED when you go to bed. Afraid of missing an emergency call. There’s a feature that shuts down all notifications/calls except those from your “Favorites” contacts. Use it.
- Put your phone in another room/in a drawer when you are working. Use your phone for work calls? Then put it face down while you’re attending to other tasks.
- Catch up on your social media just once a day. Maybe it’s with your breakfast or an afternoon coffee. Whatever. Just once a day. Trust us, you’re really not missing that much.
- Create a positive Habit Replacement for the phone. For example, everytime you are tempted to pick it up to mindlessly search news and FB/Insta, do something else instead like a 5 minute meditation, or get up and take a short walk or refill your water. Even keep a book handy and read a chapter instead.
- Need a little bit more of a babysitter? Set Screen Limits; again it’s in the iphone settings.
Like every other vice, picking up your phone is a habit that you are fully capable and in control of breaking. HEAR what your husband is saying to you. Put the phone down. It’s not worth it.
Xo, Your Sages
PS You shamed us to try harder too. Thank you.
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